10 Realities of Long Distance Relationships

Credit: Caleb George Morris

Credit: Caleb George Morris

After spending 6 months in a long distance relationship, I’ve learnt a thing or two about how they work and how to approach them. Through my experimentation I’ve found it best if you treat them like a snake. They can be wickedly dangerous if you are aggressive towards them, or they simply lounge around your neck and shoulders, the picture of calm, until they snap and strangle you to death.

On that happy note, I want to explore 10 realities of long distance relationships I wish I had been privy to 6 months ago.

10. You will spend a lot of money on stamps. And the lady at your local post office will remember your name and yes it will be embarrassing. 

9. You will suddenly have a gaping hole in your social life that can be filled with fantastic new hobbies to improve your life. I suggest baking, bocce or learning Danish. 

8. Skype is the greatest invention ever created (even topping sliced bread) and if I ever meet the person who launched this amazingness, they will be getting a massive hug.

7. You will hear a lot about places you have never been to, people you haven’t met and things you haven’t seen. Best to just nod and pretend like you know what they are on about. 

6. Get used to attending all of your social engagements as the third wheel. Or fifth wheel. Or god forbid seventh wheel (seriously wouldn’t recommend it) 

5. You will actually eat better and get your butt to the gym without the lure of the warm arms and sexy voice coming from the bed “Ugh don’t go workout, it’s Sunday morning! Let’s stay in and have bacon and maple syrup!”. Your hips will thank you. 

4. Prepare your “I’m really ok face” for the dozens of times a day you will be asked how you are “coping” with the long distance. It is sweet they show interest and care about your feelings but come one we don’t have leprosy.

3. You will collect enough frequent flyers to get to the moon and back. And the lady at the airport Cibo remembers you every time. And yes it is embarrassing.

2. You can’t watch a whole TV series together over a weekend but can watch it simultaneously and call each other after something dramatic happens (OMG he threw Zoe in front of a train! House of Cards spoiler alert!)

1. Some mornings it is easy and you feel proud for committing to this task. Some mornings you want to crawl under the bed and never come out again. But each day you remind yourself why you are doing it and hopefully of the moment when you can be together in the same state/town/room once more.

Are you going through long distance at the moment? Do you have another reality you would like to add to the list?

Much love and till later

Sez xx


How To Have Your Life Goals, Your Boyfriend and Eat Your Cake Too

Photo Credit: chotda via Compfight cc

First there were his and her bathrobes. Then his and her coffee mugs and (I sincerely hope) his and her toothbrushes. But when our generation came screaming into the world 20 something years ago, the pile of his and her items was destined to grow beyond hygiene products and homewares. 

My boyfriend and I have followed a normal relationship trajectory. Boy meets girl at Halloween in July party. Boy dressed as weirdly handsome stab wound victim, girl as vampire. Boy and girl attend university in separate fields (engineering and marketing), boy and girl enjoy spending weekends at Gold Class eating overpriced finger food and weekend trips to the country.

Girl gets really good job in home city and shouts expensive dinners to boy in celebration that one of them can finally afford expensive dinners. Girl is excited for boy to graduate and dreams of the 2bdrm house they will buy and the overseas trips they will plan.

Then boy goes and gets a job in another capital city 13 hours away and girl’s life is ruined forever.

So life-ending drama aside, as a 20 something we are so blessed to be able to cultivate and work towards the amazing dreams we have for our future. Unfortunately, while we’re all off on our own soapboxes proclaiming “I won’t let anyone stand in my way”, so are the other people in our lives. Remember all dreams are beautiful but not all of them are compatible. Some like Ashton Kutcher, some think that’s a band (credit: Mean Girls)

I am the number one believer in the life I am carving from the hunk of marble that is my work-in-progress. And as for my boy, he feels the same way which is a great indicator of how strongly we resonate with each other. Which, I would notice and appreciate if I wasn’t off crying into a bowl of Kraft cheese and onion dip.

I decided to pursue my path here and not move away. He chose to follow his path all the way to Canberra.

But dear friend don’t reach for the Kleneex just yet, we just came to the mutual decision that in order to reach our full potential we will need to be apart for a while. It won’t be easy and there will be some cross-state yelling but when our lives are directed back together on a path  aligned with our goals – that is where the magic will happen.

So what is the take home message from my piles of gross tissues? Take ownership of the plans you have for yourself.  Dig deep into why you wanted this life in the first place – are you willing to throw it away that carelessly? I know boy and girl will be back together someday and will be leading dual kick ass lives where both are filled to the brim with gratitude and contentment, being one of those couples everyone hates.

But only we will know how much work it took to get there.

Love to all the haters and till laters…

Sez xx