10 Millenial Trends 90’s Children Don’t Understand

Credit: Pawel Kadysz

Credit: Pawel Kadysz

The 90’s were awesome. As a child of the 90’s, I am therefore awesome by association. What is not awesome is what is happening to our world and how 90’s children are baffled by what is now “cool”. We should just put ourselves in a coma for 15 years and hope the outlook is less bleak when we wake up.

Here’s my top 10 Millenial Trends 90’s Children Don’t Understand

10. Rhianna and Chris Brown.

I wasn’t allowed to watch Powerangers because it was deemed too violent but suddenly it is ok to openly accept a famous person’s alleged assault of a woman? And then it’s cool to just go and buy a ticket to his next world tour?

9. Age Appropriate Films.

With the uprising of “tweenage” films eg: Twilight and Hunger Games, no wonder children these days have despondent views of society. Do they go to bed hoping to marry a vampire or dream they will be chosen to single handedly slaughter 12 kids with a pair of nunchucks? What ever happened to wholesome family entertainment?

8. Language.

Or lack of it. Since when did it become ok to form a 10 word sentence with 4 syllables? “That shit is totes cray, I’m defs going to have a go at the sluz”. I find myself hearing whispering of this strange language as I wander the world; mostly I just want to shove a dictionary down their throats.

7. Overpriced Gifts.

“Oh we bought little Jimmy an iPad for Christmas, we got him an iPod and a Wii last year. Oh and yes he’s 6”. Sometime between when I was growing up in the early 90’s and now, children have brainwashed their parents into spending exorbitant amounts on gifts. The size of the gift once mattered but now all they want to know is did it come from Apple and did Santa leave the receipt in case they don’t like the colour.

6. Kindle.

I would encourage you to go to this magical place called a Library. It will require you to leave the comfort of your ass on the couch but you might find it an enlightening experience. Enid Blyton would roll over in her grave under the magical wishing tree if she knew.

5. Politically Correct Education.

As a 5 year old, I was already developing dangerous racial tendencies. I sang about black sheep, how Humpty was smashed into a million pieces and I even once took my Golliwog to school. I will walk myself to Death Row thank you very much.

4. Technology Overload.

These days the typical household has 4 TV’s, 4 mobile phones, 2 Tablets, 2 iPods and a Partridge in a Pear Tree. I’m sure if we did a survey children of today would rather die than have to SHARE one television like we used to. And don’t even get me started on the fact we didn’t have a computer until I was 9…

3. Selfies.

Photographs are not a new thing. I had my grandpa’s old film camera and would take pictures of my girlfriends and I are at birthday parties, after winning the sports carnival or on the last day of school. We did not however pose barely clothed in front of bathroom mirrors taking photos of ourselves claiming we’re #hot and we #dontcare

2. Google.

It is a beautiful thing, it cannot be denied, but disappointingly not hugely interactive. Yes ok they make funny games on the homepage every now and then but does that even hold a candle to Where in The World is Carmen San Diego or Microsoft Encarta?

1. YOLO. Enough said.

Which of these are you the most baffled by? Do you have any other thoughts? Let me know in the comments below!

Much love and till later

Sez xx



4 thoughts on “10 Millenial Trends 90’s Children Don’t Understand

  1. 9) What is the deal with parents taking kids to see rated R movies? Yes, I watched stuff I probably shouldn’t have as a kid. But my parents did not go out of the way to PAY to take me to see movies like Ted or 21 Jump Street (both of which I had to watch with children <10 sitting next to me).

    7) Completely agree.

    6) I still love the library as an adult, and am going there today. Maybe TWO b/c I'm crazy like that. And that's one of the things I most look forward to about having kids- taking them to my magical favorite place.

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