First there were his and her bathrobes. Then his and her coffee mugs and (I sincerely hope) his and her toothbrushes. But when our generation came screaming into the world 20 something years ago, the pile of his and her items was destined to grow beyond hygiene products and homewares.
My boyfriend and I have followed a normal relationship trajectory. Boy meets girl at Halloween in July party. Boy dressed as weirdly handsome stab wound victim, girl as vampire. Boy and girl attend university in separate fields (engineering and marketing), boy and girl enjoy spending weekends at Gold Class eating overpriced finger food and weekend trips to the country.
Girl gets really good job in home city and shouts expensive dinners to boy in celebration that one of them can finally afford expensive dinners. Girl is excited for boy to graduate and dreams of the 2bdrm house they will buy and the overseas trips they will plan.
Then boy goes and gets a job in another capital city 13 hours away and girl’s life is ruined forever.
So life-ending drama aside, as a 20 something we are so blessed to be able to cultivate and work towards the amazing dreams we have for our future. Unfortunately, while we’re all off on our own soapboxes proclaiming “I won’t let anyone stand in my way”, so are the other people in our lives. Remember all dreams are beautiful but not all of them are compatible. Some like Ashton Kutcher, some think that’s a band (credit: Mean Girls)
I am the number one believer in the life I am carving from the hunk of marble that is my work-in-progress. And as for my boy, he feels the same way which is a great indicator of how strongly we resonate with each other. Which, I would notice and appreciate if I wasn’t off crying into a bowl of Kraft cheese and onion dip.
I decided to pursue my path here and not move away. He chose to follow his path all the way to Canberra.
But dear friend don’t reach for the Kleneex just yet, we just came to the mutual decision that in order to reach our full potential we will need to be apart for a while. It won’t be easy and there will be some cross-state yelling but when our lives are directed back together on a path aligned with our goals – that is where the magic will happen.
So what is the take home message from my piles of gross tissues? Take ownership of the plans you have for yourself. Dig deep into why you wanted this life in the first place – are you willing to throw it away that carelessly? I know boy and girl will be back together someday and will be leading dual kick ass lives where both are filled to the brim with gratitude and contentment, being one of those couples everyone hates.
But only we will know how much work it took to get there.
Love to all the haters and till laters…